how to make a monster laugh...

Q : What do sea monsters eat?

A : Fish and Chips Ships!


aaaaahhhhhh ha ha ha ha ha! omg. omg. that's so funny i'm laughing my scales off! ohhhh, it hurts! stop, stop! you, sir, truly are the master of sea-monster-themed fish and chip jokes!

Damn right I am, Monster.

...but a single flower....

sometimes we all get a little lonely....

just sit back and unwind....

cause it's SUMMERTIME! That's twice as nice when you live in the Mini-Apple.


ohmygodohmygodohmygod...

ding-dong.

Mewtleton was so surprised when company dropped by unannounced that he couldn't muster anything but the smallest of word bubbles.

sad sack...

he doesn't make a whole lot of friends...

naked = freedom

sometimes you've just got to get buck-naked. you've got to air that stank out.

Don't ask...

that's a glowstick in his hand. he's at a rave. he's a raver, i guess.

First Soda. Ever.

"oooh! oh my! the bubbles tickled my nose! oh my word! how exciting!"

That's totally how it went when this dude drank his first soda ever in his life.

star-struck

stay cool. stay. cool. mantain, dude.

sweet rewards.

When I was in Middle School, I had a friend who got 100 bucks every time he didn't bring home a D or F on his report card.

I always got exemplary grades, but was only rewarded with a kind word and a hearty handshake.

Of course, I thought this was totally bogus. After all, shouldn't I get a bigger material reward for not needing the motivation of a material reward in the first place?

Unfortunately, my parents and I didn't see eye-to-eye on this issue. But I was too much of a pussy to let my grades slide just to teach them a lesson.

Here's a drawing that vaguely relates to this story.


for a scoop of delicious ice cream, i'd get A+'s to the break of dawn.

It's a good thing I never did become a "bad seed" and get poor grades. After all, without top marks, how could I have gotten into... an... art school?

Ah crap.

shut up.

Sometimes you just need quiet. But sometimes some people just won't shut up.


shutupshutupshutup...

Please shut up, you loud, noisy, poopy people.

xxx .adults only. xxx

This one's just for the grown-ups. Today's post is not work safe, or for the faint of heart...

Want to take a peak and see what hides underneath that skimpy censor bar? You're in luck...


warning. click the image to see the more than you can handle.

I've got to take a ice-cold shower. For a year.

cats who are hungry....

Enough black pieces. For now.


that sly dog cat.

Bashful Boogie-Man

Here's a bashful....ghost. Yeah, I'm going to say it's a ghost.


the dark-yness conveys the agony of being bashful.

Dastardly Duo.

I think people who personally know my dogs will be astounded at how accurate these drawings are...


Twink aka Twinkus aka Stink


Atari aka Rooty aka Boo Too

Because as far as I'm concerned, they're dead on.

aka Jiff.

Jeff is known for his boyish charm and flirtatious nature.

Broccoli is RoccKoli.

above : my favorite vegetable. when it's served to me, it's like scoring a point in a sport. it's that good.

bandito.

meh. i guess he's a bandit or something.

black as my soul.

death. death. death.


i give death pounds when I see him on the street.

undecided.

Ummmm, I guess I couldn't decide if I wanted to make something cute or something hideous. So I did both.

But somehow, the end result is quite hideous and then some.


adorable + grotesque = super grotesque.... go figure.

Hmmm. Lindsay's not going to like this one.

dudely dude.

I draw myself kind of a lot. But I rarely go for accuracy. In fact, the drawings usually don't look anything like me. But they are me, to be sure.

The drawings usually reflect my general discomfort and distaste regarding my current predicament. Whatever that might be.

Here's a new one!


who's that dude?

float-head-bot.

this robot does not condone bottling up your emotions, you robot.

have mercy.

This is kind of how I feel right now. I've been putting in long nights and weekends, attached to a computer. Then I come home and squeeze in some computer time.


beep bop boop. i mean, Number 5 is alive.

mix tape.

this mix will blow your mind. it's awesome. that's where the title came from.

G-g-ghost!

i'm sc-sc-scared! ...of a ghost, fyi.

f_r_e_e_d_o_m

freedom tweets.

bat, but not the baseball kind.

Can you believe people are afraid of bats? They are so adorable.


awww, he's nocturnal.

Pfft. Babies. People who are afraid of bats are babies.

i guess he's probably not well

i had something like that once. yeah.

noobs.

I have a Gold Membership to Xbox Live. I rarely use it. The reason?


the irony is he's lazier and fatter and uglier and lamer than I am in everyway, but he still gives me a hard time. odd.

Stupid kids.

what's up doo-rag?

I'll admit it. A certain Xbox 360 game that rhymes with "Shmears of Boar" has tickled my fancy.

I don't usually do this, but here's my ode to the manly-man vibe the whole game oozes with:


oh yeah. that chest heaves for the ladies.

Before you think of me as a testosterone-fueled, ultra-buff, M-A-N of the highest degree, I've got to say my other game of choice rhymes with "Shiva ...uh...er...Pinata".

Does anything rhyme with "Viva Pinata?"